Munn Gets Mooned
by sickfixx
Summary: Olivia Munn has an interesting 'brush' with celebrity on Attack of the Show when she meets thonged pro wrestler Rikishi. Her co-host Adam, watches from a comfortable distance.
It was a new episode of _Attack of the Show._ Kevin and Olivia had just come back from break and were showing footage of a skateboarder wiping out and busting his groin on a stairwell. After it concluded, the camera returned to its two attention loving hosts. Kevin spoke first.

"There went that guy's chance of being a parent. Anyway… Anyone who's spent any time watching the show knows that we take every opportunity to humiliate and do gross and traumatic things to Olivia. Some of them she even enjoys! From dumping a bucket full of snakes on her…"

"I still hate you for that one, Kevin!"

"To making her deepthroat a hot dog dipped in mustard to having her show how to properly use a Neti Pot to baking a life-sized pie for her to jump into dressed in a French maid outfit. Our little Olivia is a true champ… Which is why…"

The audience drowned out what Kevin was saying at this point to honor Olivia with catcalls, whistles and loud cheering. Olivia already looked a bit uneasy about what he was about to arrange for her to do, but at least she braved a playful face about it.

"For the record, I at least got a sliver of enjoyment out of all of them except for the snake one…"

Kevin tilted his eyebrow at her. She rolled her eyes in defeat.

"Okay, including the snake one."

"Which is why we've cooked up a new torment to unleash on Olivia. Please welcome our guest at this time, here to promote WWE Survivor Series, RIKISHI!"  
 _You Look Fly_ played as Rikishi made his way out wearing typical wrestling gear with the leather jacket-like covering around his torso and legs. There was no doubt the typical thong tights setup lurked underneath there. He shook the hands of both hosts and generously placed a freshly baked storebought pie into the fragile hands of Olivia Munn.

"I brought this for Miss Munn, knowing how much she likes pie."

"I'm officially endorsing you for World Heavweight Champion now!" exclaimed Olivia.

"Rikishi, great to have you here."

"Good to be here!" he said, casually.

"First off, I've gotta ask you. What is it like to be a Samoan in professional wrestling?"

"It's good, man. The wrestling world has always been very accepting of our people. A lot of people don't know this, but former WWE Champion Yokozuna was Samoan. The Rock was Samoan, and he's one of the biggest stars of all time. There's also Jimmy Snuka, Umaga. So it's good to be Samoan."

"You're obviously a big guy. What do you weigh now? 400?"

"I'm currently at 520, but Vinnie Mac the boss keeps bugging me to lose some weight so I might have to go on a no-carbs diet."

"Rule number one in entertainment" Olivia interjected, this being her specialty, "You can eat as many carbs as you want, as long as you purge!"

"Is that your secret? I thought maybe it was because you're Asian!"

"Yes, it's true. We Asians are stick figures until we start eating American food!" she responded goofily.

"So you're going to be a part of this big event WWE's putting on. Let's talk some about that, because you actually are involved in a huge match on the card."

"Well, Kevin Nash has been going rogue on production crew and certain lower ranked wrestling talents, taking his aggressions out in an egotistical way. If there's one thing Rikishi doesn't like, it's ego. That's what the stinkface does, it puts people's egos in check. So, I'm gonna be looking out for my friend C.M. Punk at the event and probably gonna have to back it up on Kevin Nash at Survivor Series. Punk's a good friend of mine. He has a rematch against Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship. It's gonna be an action packed show. Easily worth the forty dollars. We leave it all out there in the ring!"

"Speaking of the stinkface" Olivia asked, "How often do you bust the move out?" She was clearly interested in hearing more, as raunchiness was her area of specialty as anyone who watched the show would know.

"On anybody who deserves it, basically" Rikishi answered, "My opponents, managers, referees, fans…"

"Fans!?" Olivia shouted, "You've actually done it to fans?"

Rikishi smiled and nodded his head.

"Anybody who pushes their luck too far or tries to bully those who are weaker, the Kish doesn't like that. They actually told me backstage when I got here, the producers wanted me to give it to one of you if the audience would like to see it."

"Yes, that's why we have the ring set up over here! Olivia, are you ready to go where no woman's gone before?" asked Kevin.

"Actually" Rikishi corrected him, "I've stinkfaced plenty of women in wrestling. Some who got in my way and some who wanted me to. I've had girls bite me on the ass during!"

The audience erupted in laughter and disbelief.

"It's true! I even gave it to the boss's daughter one time! That's right! Stephanie McMahon took it!"

"Wait, wait!" Olivia said, frozen on the apron of the mini-ring, uncertain how to proceed. "Isn't there some… Don't we have some kinda warm-up ritual before?"

"Yeah, you get in the corner and fall down. That's the ritual!"

"Oh, Kevin…" Olivia said fearfully, "I'm not sure about this…"

"Princess, you'll be fine! Remember your balloon phobia. Just keep telling yourself 'At least he's not popping balloons!'" said Kevin as he lightly kissed her forehead, taunting her for what she was about to let the Samoan do. Olivia stepped through the bottom ropes and leaned up against the corner.

"Do I just sit down or do you splash me?" she asked.

"Do you want me to splash you?" Rikishi asked, his chest heaving as he laughed.

"Nah, I'm all set without that, thank you!" said Olivia as she gently maneuvered herself down until she was sitting forward with her knees under her.

"Sit back and spread your legs!" said Kevin, cuing the audience to laugh at his sexually subliminal instructions. Olivia grabbed his hand for support as she did as she was told. He could tell she was panicked, so he did his best to assure her, but privately he was thankful it wasn't him in her position.

"It's okay! You're going to be okay! He's just going to stick his butt in your face! It's just a bum! You have a bum! I have a bum! Everyone in the audience has a bum!"

"But it's so big!" said Olivia in a frightened tone as he unbuttoned his lower covering to reveal the red tights which ended in an obscene and almost inappropriate for television thong. There was an advertisement for _Survivor Series_ printed across the ends of both butt cheeks, but because much of it disappeared up his crack, it read more like _Suror Sees_.

"Thank you, honey! I'm glad you approve of my size!" said Rikishi, soaking up her apprehension. She didn't realize how real a wrestling move the stinkface was, that there was no way to totally fake a giant ass plunging into your face and swallowing it up. But maybe he would go easy on her once she did. He turned around and, still wearing the microphone clipped onto the front of his t-shirt, he explained his movements.

"Now what I like to do when I've got an opponent down in the corner is I like to give em a minute to look at it and think about it going in their face. Gives em time to reflect on all their bad deeds!"

Olivia gasped in shock as she studied the craterous, bulging, oily buttocks closing in.

"Is that a zit!?" she asked trying to be as tomboyish about it as she could. "Eww, stridex pads can fix that, you know! Kevin, I'm scared…"

Kevin gently let go of her hand.

"I'll be right here, princess. You'll be fine… I'll be right over here!"

"Kevin, Kevin, wait!"

"It's okay!"

Olivia Munn playfully let out a half scream, half laugh remembering that she had an audience to entertain but also genuinely unnerved about what the producers and writers had asked her to do in the name of ratings and advertising WWE's upcoming pay per view. She took in Rikishi's butt, scanning the surface to see if it was as bad as it was hyped up to be in all the years he'd been rubbing it in the bad guys' faces. The camera really couldn't do all the flab, cottage cheese, hairs, pimples, dimples, stretchmarks and skidmarks justice. And then, she was lost in it, her head bouncing around on the outside cusp of his ass, grazing the dark, slippery skin and tasting hairs in her mouth with dinkleberry crumbs in them. Dried specks of sweat and shit sloshed around in her mouth as Rikishi swiveled his hips, crushing her there in the corner to the applause of Kevin Pereira and the AOTS audience. He could feel his ass getting cleaner as he wiped it in broadstrokes across her jet black hair, her lips and forehead, the bridge of her nose. A silent fart broke across her upturned, flattened nostrils and stinging sweat burned her eyes. She turned her head to gag and he pulled her back in for a second to imprison her in his stench. Her hands went up, trying to bat him away, even clawing and pinching at his folds of flabby skin but he was in control and wanted to feel her tongue as she lost control of her gag reflex. She pressed it out and accidentally licked the inside of his sweaty crack.

The camera only captured a fraction of the action due to the stinkface being one of the more intimate wrestling moves, where you really had to be on the receiving end to understand how psychologically damaging and physically traumatizing an experience it really was.

All this happened in about nine seconds, but to Olivia, it felt like an eternity. Olivia had made Rikishi swear to not make it last more than three seconds, the length of a pinfall, backstage prior to the show going on-air. He had went well past his limit, but it was doubtful anything would be said to him about it due to the nature of live television.

When he finally let her up, Olivia gagged and dryheaved in a manner that was reminiscent of Stephanie McMahon's reaction. But she didn't linger on the ground. She leaped to her feet and motioned for something to be sick in.

"Here's a bucket if you need to purge!" joked Kevin as he handed it to her. She wrenched it out of his hands half way playing and half way pissed the fuck off, still coughing and hacking to clear up the debris loosed on her. She pulled her hair back over her ears and sat on her knees, hunched over the bucket, clutching it like an anchor. She tried to force herself to vomit, but all she did was spit up some clear phlegm that dropped into the bucket in a long trail.

"Feel better? Do you feel better?" asked Kevin, with his hand stroking her shoulder caringly. She glowered at him for putting her up to that grossest of displays.

"Yeah… No…" she corrected, "I want you to do it."

"Well, I would but that's all the time we have."

"No, I'm serious, Kevin! I took one for the team, now I think you need to experience it for yourself!"

Kevin sneered and ran a hand across his throat, motioning for a commercial break. Olivia was still clicking and clacking her teeth and lips together, tasting the lingering stinkface.

"I can taste his leftovers. Gah, did you have chicken for lunch?" she said, trying to play it off as another one of her crazy stunts done in the name of AOTS Best Of clip shows.

"Chicken parmesan" Rikishi said, with another shoulder heaving laugh as his tongue lolled and hung out the side of his mouth.

"Wow… So that happened…" Kevin said. "When we return from the break, we have some early pics for Best of the Year categories in video games, movies and internet phenomenons. We'll also try to fumigate Olivia's face."

Olivia was giving a sad puppy dog look as Rikishi put his arm around her and pulled her in for an apologetic hug. She was a good sport about it being the stuntgirl/tomboy she had always played to a hilt on the show.


End file.
